Why we should start LOVING instead of JUDGING

As I am experiencing this positive transformation within myself, my surroundings are also changing. One of the things that really stood out for me is that I noticed how judgmental our society as a whole and therefore the people around me, including myself, were. This is something that I have been seeing crystal clear lately and where I used to participate in doing so, I put effort into distancing myself from that as much as possible. I must admit this is not an easy task and I will be the last one to pretend like I never do it, but it is something incredible nonconstructive and even destructive to building real and genuine connection with others.

”We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.”


I do feel there is this trend in judging each other that mirrors how we really feel about ourselves too. We should all ask ourselves why we feel the need to look at other people and what is wrong with them. Perhaps we could shift that attention to ourselves and be honest with ourselves. Maybe it is not so much about that other person that we dislike. Maybe it is something that person represents for us, that subconsciously reminds us of that what is inside of us that we dislike. It is easy to see the flaws or faults outside of yourself, the hard part is to find those same flaws and fault inside of you. We often have a ”blind spot” when it comes to our own behavior.  (And if I may speak for myself, the people that I have judged the most were the same people that had traits similar to my very own. When I finally realized I did not dislike them more than I disliked myself, the healing could begin and I no longer felt the need to focus on the world outside of me, but instead started looking within.)

Judging is big business

The second issue I would love to discuss here is the fact that judging sells. How many tabloids aren’t fore sale? And they make big bucks too by simply writing about other people they don’t even know and judging how they live their lives or what they wear etc. But also how many ads are there that make you judge yourself? This is a subject that is discussed a lot because it has to do with body image, white supremacy, all these different sensitive themes that eventually lead to the same source. IT ALL HAS TO DO WITH THE WAY WE VIEW OURSELVES. And this judging will only make us feel worse about others and eventually about ourselves.

Loving is free

On the contrary to this all commercial way of trying to make you feel bad about yourself (so that you buy all these different material junk you don’t need to make yourself feel a little bit better) and creating this separation between people, there is love. And it is such a beautiful thing that cost nothing! It is entirely free and the most wonderful part about it is the more you give the more you’ll receive. Because let’s just say you replace this judgement with love. So instead of judging someone you start loving them. This will not only change the way you feel about them, it will also change the way you feel about yourself. Where you used to judge others for the things they represented that were also inside of you, you now start loving others including the things they represent that are also inside of you. As you can see already, you will not only love them but also yourself and all the parts about you. This makes life so much more enjoyable for everyone!

Loving builds a connection

Now that we started to love ourselves and others we can also start building connections with each other. As I said above judging will create separation and for some this even results in isolation, something that can cause depression, illness, anxiety, you name it. People are social beings and especially when you did not choose to be alone but are excluded to participate, something that happens a lot in schools but also in offices (don’t get it twisted), it has many negative effects on that person. This is also something that is broadly discussed nowadays. And it might seem logical but I will say it anyway, when we start loving everyone instead of judging people we can really connect with other. We are all human beings and we all struggle with life. So why make it harder for each other when we can empower one another?



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Surya Tanya