Relationships: the greatest teachers

Interpersonal relationships can teach you a lot about yourself. They can function as a mirror, to reflect those things that are hidden within yourself. If a person gets you angry or sad, it is not about what that person is doing or saying, but what that is doing with you. By exploring what it is inside of yourself that makes you upset when someone says or does a certain thing, you explore the root of your suffering. If you find the root, you can begin healing. This whole process is so interesting for me and also something I am experiencing  and learning everyday. I have been single for five years and by being single I have not had confrontations like I have now that I am in a relationship. The hurdles you face together are very different from those I had been facing alone, More specificly I can state that I have had triggers that bring out childhood pain that weren’t visible when I was single. Now that I am in a relationship I face these triggers and realize that there is still healing needed in certain parts of my soul. One of the main reasons I have been single was that I was lacking self love and the ability to want better, do better and be better for myself. It is one of the most important decisions I have made to start practicing loving myself and wanting better for myself. I also think that the reason I am now in a good  relationship is because of the fact that I have started this healthy relationship with myself first. But now that I am in one, new challenges come for me. Because having a person so close to you brings out the best AND the worst in you. And  it can be hard to differentiate between your energy and that persons energy, and not take things personal that have nothing to do with you. As an empath I have had issues with that for as long as I can remember, and I still need to find my balance when it comes down to dealing with another persons vibe and my own emotions. By a persons energy I mean the vibe they are giving. A person can be happy and shine positive vibes your way, but being a human means that you also have to deal with negative energy like moodiness, anger or sadness. What I do when I feel these things coming from another person is identify with them. I sense that someone has a negative vibe and I think it has something to do with me. I take it personal. And this is where things go left. Because it has NOTHING to do with me. So instead of feeling responsible for someone elses state of being, I need to learn how to distance myself from that and stay in my own lane. That way I am not responsible anymore and it does not affect me either. Affirmations that help me:




–      I am not responsible for anyone else’s state of being, only of my own state of being


–      I do not let others energy affect the way I am feeling


–      The way I feel about myself is not dependant on anyone else’s approvel


–      I love myself entirely and exude that love onto others


–      I am overflowing with love


–      I am filled with positive energy and joy


–      What others feel has nothing to do with me.


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Surya Tanya