I am on this journey of coming into my own and finding my Souls purpose for a little longer than a year now, and in this year I have learned that I need other Souls in order to come closer to my own.
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
“Whatever is rejected from the self, appears in the world as an event.”
― C.G. Jung
This is where I was lost in the past; I did not love myself as a whole. I felt an emptiness, a void, and I was trying to fill up this hole inside of my Soul through other people. This left me even more damaged than I already was, because the law of attraction states that you can only attract that what you are. Thus, in being empty I only attracted others with that same emptiness, leaving behind a path of destruction and suffering. I did not have a high self esteem or value of myself, and I did not trust in my own capabilities and qualities, therefore I did not trust the people around me. What you think and feel of yourself you often see in others. It took me a long time to realize that the things I judged others for were in actuality the hidden parts of myself I did not like, or even resented. There was so much guilt and shame inside myself that I could not see the world for it’s beautiful reality because of the way my hurt colored my perception. My self was shattered in roles I played and masks I hid under. No one really saw the real me, because I myself did not see my self for who I really had become. I was too busy denying the truth and running from it in every which way possible using drugs, parties and other thrills to keep me distracted from the pain in my heart.
”I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.” – Liz Gilbert
And that is exactly what happened to me; I was at my lowest point when I came to the conclusion that I really didn’t like myself and my behavior. Matter of fact, I hated the person I had become and I could not live any longer with this person. In order to stay alive I had to make a change and so I did! At first I did not have a clue on how to start. So I faked it at first untill I made it, and today a little longer than a year later I am still working on it but I can truly say that I do love the person I am. It was when I started truly loving and nurturing myself I started attracting this love from the world around me. These real connections could only grow in a fertile environment where self-love, self-worth, self-care, honesty and vulnerability were used as water and soil to help these plants and flowers grow and blossom.
The more I opened up my soul and let go of my ego, the more others responded to me in a positive and loving way. It is all a reflection of me. These connections I am making are helping me humble myself and find my purpose of sharing and touching others soul by simply showing my own. My writing is a part of this and I have come to find out that in doing so, I not only express my self, but also I am meeting others going through the same things, understanding what I am sharing and giving back so much love that all I can do is be thankful. I know that I had to isolate myself before I could find my self, and now that I did I have to open up and share it with the world. Connecting with others is my bliss. Have you found yours yet?
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